• straight people: Danimals is where the goodness of dairy meets delicious fun
  • gay people: right?! that stuff is such a good source of calcium AND vitamin D
  • straight people: it doesnt even have any artificial stuff, or high fructose corn syrup. it's all natural
  • gay people: And they're full of delicious fruity flavor! That's why you'll feel good when your kids reach for Danimals!

Resumes and cover letters aren’t all that bad. Traditionally, my brain has boiled with a deleterious, sustained rage at them. They are usually adjective-happy. You’re almost guaranteed to write down several cliché lines. Most of all, they’re boring.

But every time I submit a resume/cover letter combo, I either learn something about myself or about the hiring process. I love that.

During this latest round, it occurred to me that I could never be the “best” candidate for any position. There are too many out of work 40 year-olds with a lot of administrative experience and far too few objective HR managers. However, this time, I had a unique edge over the other candidates: I was already working for the City. I was a known commodity. That was my offer to the City just as they offered this position to apply for to me. Fair exchange.

That’s the epiphany: Don’t try to be the “best” candidate in a job hunt. Use your cover letter and resume to offer yourself, not the ideal. You won’t get the job most of the time, but at least the Hiring Manager will have options in front of them. You will be a choice rather than another “business-speak” applicant.

Damn, I should go write a Buzzfeed article about this (and now my soul just split in three).